I Look At You


I’ll admit it, this week I’ve felt like a “Mean Mom.”  When my daughter couldn’t sleep a couple nights ago because she was scared of having a nightmare, I told her it was silly and to go to bed. I was tired and I wanted to have some time to relax. The next morning wasn’t any better. Sometimes in the mornings I feel I am running my daughter through an obstacle course just to get out the door toward school and then work. I realized that my stressful moments are not what I want her to remember about me. I don’t want her to remember me running out of the house in a frazzled way literally like a chicken with it’s head cut off. I really felt guilty the more I thought about the last few interactions with my daughter (the bedtime routine and the next morning).  I thought about how I wanted my job as Mom to be the most important job I would have in my life and I wanted to do it well.

The following evening at bedtime, I explained to my daughter that I was there for her and understood her fears and told her that I also have had some in my own life. The next morning, I didn’t allow myself to get into a frazzled state. I am not a morning person so I’m honestly not the friendliest person in the morning. It would do me good if I committed to the habit of refusing to get stressed out and try and have a better attitude every morning, no matter what. I’ve called the morning routine “the rat race,” and I think that explains my feelings about my attitude some mornings.

The next morning, I kept a good attitude and when we got into the car, I played a Mandisa song called “Good Morning” on the way to school.  As we waited in the school line, I grabbed my daughter’s hand and smiled and told her how pretty her coat looked on her. I sang the song and forced my “morning self” to be my “chipper self.” I could tell I caught her off guard and her spirits were lifted by my cheerful attitude.

I’ve been reading a good book called, “The Relationship Principles of Jesus” by author Tom Holladay.  Tom says, “Some think the only way to make something new is to start over. Here instead is where to begin: rediscover the attitude of love in the everyday habits of your life. You simply take the things that become mere habit and inject love into them again.”

This is exactly what I plan to do. I vow to make a change in 2017, a new year’s resolution a little late. I vow to have a better outlook in the mornings for me and for my daughter! Tom also writes in his book, “Because much of life is routine–If you don’t allow love to become part of the routine of life, love will be missing from the majority of the minutes in your day.”  I plan to start out each day in 2017 by allowing love to become a part of my routine.




  1. That’s a wonderful outlook on life Pam. Keep it up and you will thank yourself later in life when you have lots of fun moments to remember about your life with Zoe.

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